You Can’t Pretend Anymore – Waking Up Hurts
In this deeply honest and transformative episode of TheAlexShow.TV, Alex explores a phase of awakening that is rarely discussed with clarity and compassion: the moment when pretending becomes impossible. The title, You Can’t Pretend Anymore – Waking Up Hurts, may sound harsh at first glance, but the message behind it is neither pessimistic nor discouraging. It is an invitation to understand what is actually happening when reality begins to feel uncomfortable in ways it never did before.
This discomfort is not physical pain, nor is it suffering in the traditional sense. Alex reframes the word “hurts” as transformation. What hurts is not awakening itself, but the friction between who you have been conditioned to be and who you are beginning to remember yourself as.
Why Awakening Feels Uncomfortable
Awakening is often romanticized as a moment of bliss, clarity, and peace. While those elements do emerge, they are rarely the first stages. The initial phase is disorienting. Old structures that once provided certainty begin to collapse, and familiar narratives no longer feel authentic.
According to Alex, this discomfort arises because awakening forces a shift in perception. You start seeing reality differently, and once that shift happens, there is no going back. You may find yourself wishing, even briefly, that you had never started this process at all.
This reaction is natural. It does not mean something has gone wrong. It means something is changing.
You Are Not Broken
A central message of this episode is reassurance. Feeling disconnected, out of place, or unable to engage in old patterns does not mean you are broken. It means you are waking up.
Alex references the work of Carl Jung, particularly the concept of individuation. Jung observed that spiritual transformation rarely occurs through dramatic revelations. Instead, it unfolds quietly, through a gradual shedding of what no longer resonates.
You stop forcing conversations. You stop tolerating environments that drain you. You stop wearing masks that once felt necessary. Not because you decided to, but because your spirit simply cannot tolerate them anymore.
The End of Pretending
One of the most noticeable changes during awakening is the inability to pretend. Pretending to care about things that no longer matter. Pretending to agree just to maintain harmony. Pretending to fit into roles that feel increasingly artificial.
Alex emphasizes that this does not mean becoming isolated, arrogant, or dismissive of others. It means becoming honest with yourself.
The exhaustion many people feel is not caused by awakening itself, but by trying to remain someone they are no longer aligned with.
A Shift in Identity
As this process unfolds, identity begins to loosen. You may no longer define yourself through labels such as political affiliation, belief systems, or even spiritual identities. Alex is careful to avoid labeling this process as “being spiritual,” because labels themselves can become another form of separation.
Everyone is spiritual by nature. Everyone is spirit experiencing reality through a soul and a body. Awakening does not make someone more spiritual than others. It simply reflects a different stage of experience.
This understanding removes hierarchy and judgment from the process.
Relationships During Awakening
One of the most challenging aspects of waking up is navigating relationships. Family gatherings, social events, and long-standing friendships may begin to feel strained—not because others have changed, but because you have.
Alex speaks candidly about this dynamic. Awakening does not mean cutting people off or withdrawing from life. In fact, total isolation is not the answer.
Instead, it requires a new way of relating. Less debate. Less need to be right. More listening. More compassion.
Family, Friends, and Attachment
Alex shares a personal reflection on how family and friends evolve over time. Biological family may become chosen family, and lifelong friends may become family through shared experience.
Deep bonds do not require constant interaction. Like a strong tree, once roots are established, less maintenance is needed. This applies to relationships during awakening as well.
You may interact less, but the connection remains. And when interactions do happen, they are often more authentic.
Letting Go of Being Right
One of the earliest shifts during awakening is the loss of interest in being right. Arguments lose their appeal. Validation from others becomes unnecessary.
Alex explains that many people are deeply programmed to seek validation. They need agreement to feel secure. When you stop participating in that dynamic, it can create friction.
But over time, a quiet respect often emerges. Others sense that they will not get validation or resistance from you, and the interaction softens.
Politics, Religion, and Silence
Family gatherings often revolve around sensitive topics such as politics, religion, and social issues. During awakening, engaging in these discussions can feel increasingly uncomfortable.
Alex suggests that silence is not avoidance. It is discernment.
You are not required to have an opinion on everything. Choosing not to engage is not weakness; it is clarity.
When asked directly, it is perfectly valid to say, “I don’t have an opinion,” or “I’d rather not discuss that.”
Trusting the Inner Process
A recurring theme throughout this episode is trust. Trusting the process. Trusting intuition. Trusting that not having answers is part of the journey.
Awakening does not provide immediate clarity. It removes false certainty first.
Alex emphasizes that this process is individual. There are no timelines. No dates. No collective deadlines. Free will makes prediction impossible.
Each person wakes up in their own way, at their own pace.
The Myth of Collective Ascension
Alex addresses a common narrative in modern spiritual culture: the idea that humanity is collectively ascending on a fixed timeline.
While collective change is possible, it can only occur when individuals choose to behave differently. Awakening cannot be imposed, predicted, or scheduled.
Any belief that places some people above others is rooted in ego, not awareness.
Living in This World While Waking Up
Awakening does not remove you from this world. You are still here to live, work, love, and connect.
The difference is how you participate.
You may still attend gatherings. You may still engage socially. But you do so without pretending. Without forcing. Without betraying yourself.
This balance is subtle and requires patience.
Why It Feels Like Loss
Many people interpret awakening as loss. Loss of interest. Loss of connection. Loss of motivation.
Alex reframes this entirely. What feels like loss is actually release. You are not losing yourself; you are losing what you were never meant to carry.
Old emotions such as hate, rage, envy, pride, and judgment begin to fall away—not because you suppress them, but because they no longer serve a purpose.
Compassion for Others
A crucial reminder in this episode is compassion. Awakening does not make you superior. It makes you more understanding.
Others are not wrong because they are at a different stage. Everyone has a process. No one is ahead or behind.
Judgment dissolves naturally when identity loosens.
Discovering Your True Self
The episode closes with a familiar but powerful invitation: discover who you truly are.
This discovery is personal. No one can do it for you.
Alex suggests dedicating a few minutes a day to asking simple questions: “Who am I?” “Where do I come from?” “What is my purpose?”
The answers will not arrive as explanations. They will arrive as shifts.
Freedom Beyond Pretending
When you stop pretending, freedom emerges. Not the freedom to escape life, but the freedom to live it authentically.
You stop competing. You stop complaining. You stop depending on external validation.
You begin to trust what you feel inside.
Final Reflection
Waking up hurts because it changes you. And change is uncomfortable when you try to remain the same.
You cannot unsee what you have seen. You cannot unknow what you have realized.
This is not a curse. It is growth.
You are not broken.
You are waking up.
For more reflections on awakening, self-discovery, and conscious living, visit TheAlexShow.TV and continue the journey with Alex.